"Maybe forbidding things is just way too subtle for a thousand years later where people hate learning instead of love it."

I’m a high school teacher, and during lunch in the staff lounge, the history teacher walked in looking utterly defeated. She told the principal, "A student tried to convince me his dog ate his homework, and when I didn't believe him, he produced a zip-lock bag of dog poop as evidence." Apparently, she didn't open the bag, thank goodness. Not sure why the student couldn't reprint the paper.

I was in the server room today helping our network admin clear out some old cables. He was on the phone with a remote user. He finally said, "Sir, turning it off and on again won't fix the fact that you spilled clam chowder into the disc drive."

“It’s as if I’ve lived through this before and didn’t really enjoy it.”

"We aren't lying, we are just presenting the truth in a highly optimistic parallel universe."